Relationship Foundation, Improvement, and Rescue, 13. März 2007

This book deserves many more than five stars. It is as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide to improving your relationships as you can get without having a trained counselor present.

It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.

The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.

The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).

Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.

The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.

The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that this effort represented. It can help overcome a lot of thoughtlessness that may have preceded that sharing.

If your relationship is on the rocks, that idea of reconnecting can be scary. I was impressed to see that the book provides a 14 day program to help you with exercises that help reconnect you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Most counselors would probably not give you this much guidance.

One of the finest things in life is to have a great relationship with other people. This book gives you the necessary background to move in that direction. The rest is up to you, as the author says. Give it a shot! You have a lot to gain!

       A Must Read, 6. Juli 2000

This book will lift your spirits as well as make you feel like you can change anything and anyone just by changing youself. I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Phil at a taping of the Oprah show in Chicago and he is as inspiring in person as he makes you feel when you read this very uplifting, motivating book. I guarantee you will not be sorry you did. I have read it twice and listened to the audio and it has changed my whole outlook on life. I definitely recommend this book to anyone who wants to make their relationship better in any way.

       Relationship Foundation, Improvement, and Rescue, 22. Juni 2000

This book deserves many more than five stars. It is as close as you can get to having a hands-on guide to improving your relationships as you can get without having a trained counselor present.

It's too bad that most people will take on this book because they have a bad or failing relationship. It would be much better to start with this approach in the beginning. I hope marriage advisors, parents, living together couples, and engaged people will become familiar with this book and recommend it to others.

The book is extremely direct. The author makes it clear that you have to first change yourself before you can change you relationship.

The book is extremely well structured for easy use both as a book and as a workbook. It is divided into seven steps (define and diagnose where the relationship is now; get rid of your wrong thinking about relationships; find out what you are doing to hurt the relationships; internalize the values needed to build and maintain strong relationships; the necessary format for a strong relationship; and how to reconnect and manage the relationship).

Each section is filled with diagnostic questions for you and your partner to use, as well as directions for implementing what you learn.

The process involved is a good one. It begins with identifying stalled thinking, works on stallbusting that thinking, and then builds new habits that will work better.

The steps are extensive, but you can take them in bite-sized amounts. Before you are done, you will be sharing what you have done with your partner. I have to believe that anyone who was told that their partner had been working on these questions and exercises would be very impressed by the commitment to the relationship that this effort represented. It can help overcome a lot of thoughtlessness that may have preceded that sharing.

If your relationship is on the rocks, that idea of reconnecting can be scary. I was impressed to see that the book provides a 14 day program to help you with exercises that help reconnect you emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Most counselors would probably not give you this much guidance.

One of the finest things in life is to have a great relationship with other people. This book gives you the necessary background to move in that direction. The rest is up to you, as the author says. Give it a shot! You have a lot to gain!

       Useful and Practical Ideas, 12. Juni 2000

I really liked the book. Good advice. Practical ideas that you can understand easily and use in practical situations. The idea that BOTH of you are responsible for the success of your relationship is important, not a new idea - but I really like some of the exercises and insights about it that helped it be more real for me.

Another fabulous book which I bought after reading a review online, about personal growth and communication, is called "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work: A Book About Instanteous Transformation" by Ariel and Shya Kane.

Wow! Thanks to the reviewer - I hadn't heard of the book before - but I loved it too! Inspiring and profound ideas. Really showed me how to feel much more centered and happy, in all circumstances. I loved also the chapter about "Being Right" vs "Being Alive" That idea alone has helped me have much better communication with my wife. Everytime that I notice I want to be right in an argument - I remember the cost of being right...and I stop it, I quit. And the argument ends...and then we have harmony and happiness again! It's wonderful! They talk about Not Trying to Fix or Improve your Partner - and that too has made such a difference! "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work" is A WONDERFUL BOOK! Everyone who wants to have better relationships should read both these books!

       Useful and Practical Ideas, 12. Juni 2000

I really liked the book. Good advice. Practical ideas that you can understand easily and use in practical situations. The idea that BOTH of you are responsible for the success of your relationship is important, not a new idea - but I really like some of the exercises and insights about it that helped it be more real for me.

Another fabulous book which I bought after reading a review online, about personal growth and communication, is called "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work: A Book About Instanteous Transformation" by Ariel and Shya Kane.

Wow! Thanks to the reviewer - I hadn't heard of the book before - but I loved it too! Inspiring and profound ideas. Really showed me how to feel much more centered and happy, in all circumstances. I loved also the chapter about "Being Right" vs "Being Alive" That idea alone has helped me have much better communication with my wife. Everytime that I notice I want to be right in an argument - I remember the cost of being right...and I stop it, I quit. And the argument ends...and then we have harmony and happiness again! It's wonderful! They talk about Not Trying to Fix or Improve your Partner - and that too has made such a difference! "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work" is A WONDERFUL BOOK! Everyone who wants to have better relationships should read both these books!